August 17, 2011
Straight Flush

“A heterosexual plumber takes a job on a Gay cruise”

Freddy Holguin always fancied himself a bit of a ladies man. He knew all the lines, knew all the moves and kept a copy of ‘The Game’ on his bedside table. So when the opportunity to work on a singles’ cruise in the Bahamas came up he leapt at the opportunity to combine work with pleasure. But something is a bit different on the SS Longshaft and it’s not until they’ve left port that Freddy realises he’s the only heterosexual man on the entire ship. Can Freddy overcome his own hyper-hetero prejudices to make the most of his trip? Will he be able to woo the only woman on board, the lovely Miss Corriander? And what about Smoke Bone, the ship’s entertainer who has taken a liking to Freddy and wont take straight for an answer?

Suggested catchphrase: “1,2.. 34… 623…” (Freddy’s running tally of seamen jokes while onboard)

5:26pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVB3Ux8QPRL-
(Notes: 12)
  
Filed under: gay cruise bahamas ladies man lothario sit-com 
August 17, 2011
Apologies and a new submission

First off, apologies for not posting in the last week. I’ve been packing up my life to emigrate to another country and had no idea how much organising had to get done before I could leave. It’s been a week since the last idiom box went up and that is inexcusable especially if this experiment is going to make it to a year. 

To go someway to making up the deficit there are three new Idiom Boxes below. But there is also something a lot more exciting (for me at least), the first full submission from someone I don’t personally know!!

‘Milking it’ is below and comes from damndamvandahm. It centres around a funny clash of cultures on a dairy farm. So thanks damndamvandahm, it’s nice to know people are reading this and getting on board. 

If you think you can do better that damndamvandahm (I doubt it but you should really try) make a submission using the submit button at the top. 

Also, check out damndamvandahm’s blog. They like some cool stuff..

And don’t forget to press the ‘like’ button or follow on twitter if you want to get these without having to visit the page all the time.

Cheers and sorry for the break in transmission, we now return you to your regular programming.

1:50am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVB3Ux8OMjv7
August 17, 2011
Milking it

Submitted by damndamvandahm

“A fresh new look at the dairy industry”

 What happens when five sheltered teens are forced to slave away at a dairy ranch for a month? Hilarity ensues as these kids must milk and tend to the herd, all while under the watchful eye of one of meanest ranch owners that has ever lived. Will these kids crack under the pressure or will they finally learn to some responsibility? Don’t miss the drama and the excitement in this exciting new look at what really goes down on the farm.

Suggested catchphrase: “Don’t have a cow!”

12:01am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVB3Ux8OCcrA
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: idiombox sit-com submission dairy teens 
August 16, 2011
Where there’s a Will

“The game show where siblings compete for their parent’s affection and their inheritance’”

Every family includes a bit of sibling rivalry. Whether it’s competing to see who is better at sports, better at school or who is ‘the favourite’ there’s always something. For the most part parents try to remain neutral but there must be some part inside them that wants to watch their kids battle it out for their affection as they sit on a self-rigteous throne of parental judgement. Now they can. Over 6 rounds and in front of a frenetic studio audience, a family’s children will compete to win the title of ‘Golden Child’ and ‘Sole Heir’. In the first 3 rounds the siblings will compete to see who can choose the best partner, who can most justify their parent’s life choices by following in their footsteps and who can have the cutest grand children. 

Suggested catchphrase: “No dear, we love you all equally… for now”

11:57pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVB3Ux8OCMa7
(Notes: 8)
  
Filed under: game show Will sibling rivalry sole heir 
August 16, 2011
Carbon Dating

“The dating show that matches people based on their environmental impact”

It’s so hard to find love. People are so different, so varied and unique that it’s difficult to find enough things in common to connect with. This can be a real problem for the environmentally aware. No sooner have they made eye contact and flirted over a fruity drink then they find out that the object of their affection drives a 4WD and thinks the Kyoto protocol is an oriental sexual position. But now there is a dating show that matches people who want to love someone else as much as the love the earth. Will a mutual fear of environmental catastrophe be enough to spark true love? Will this elaborate breeding program create a new generation of hyper-green children that will save the earth? Or will the entire project fail because no one is willing to use aerosol deodorant?

Suggested catchphrase: “She’s looking for a man that’s green on the outside and warm on the inside just like her compost heap!”

11:57pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVB3Ux8OCIJL
Filed under: game show dating green environment 
August 16, 2011
Chicken Caesar

“A cowardly Italian General is forced to go to war”

Benicio Al Acarte liked the army. He understood it and he liked to think it understood him too. He knew that the Army wasn’t just a fighting force but was also a massive bureaucracy that needed to be organised and for 27years that’s exactly what he did. But now, after rising to the rank of General, a new government mandate means he has to see active duty or risk losing his commission. Will the prince of pencil pushers be able to prove himself in battle? Can he use his mastery of Army bureaucracy to prove that the pen really is mightier than the sword? Or will he be forced into a situation that puts him and his men at risk?

Suggested catchphrase: “cappuccino non tappo in culo”

11:56pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVB3Ux8OCG9V
(Notes: 18)
  
Filed under: Sit-com Chicken caesar bureaucracy army 
August 8, 2011
Unaccompanied Miner

“A middle aged coal miner attempts to find love in his small welsh village”

Aeron Davies has lived all his life in the mines. He worked hard like his father and his father before that and when he wasn’t working he was hanging out with the lads in the pub or dong other manly things. Now at 42 and alone, Aeron has decided that he needs a wife, but in a small town like Llanybydder the pickings are slim and the opportunities are rare. Enter the wives of Llanybadder, a close knit and excitable force who decide to take it upon themselves to take Aeron from miner leagues and turn him into a real player. Will the wives of Llanybydder be able to make Aeron attractive enough to find a wife? Will his campaign of self-improvement ostracise him from his mates when they realise he now uses moisturiser and takes salsa dancing classes? Or is Aeron destined to live a life of loneliness and despair?

Suggested catchphrase: “wnaeth mae’n brifo pan fyddwch yn disgyn o’r nef?”


11:59pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVB3Ux83Ft__
(Notes: 9)
  
Filed under: wales love dating welsh mining 
August 8, 2011
Passenger Terminal

“A dying man travels the world making the most of his remaining time”

Sean Lochley always had plans. He planned to learn an instrument, he planned to fall in love and he planned to travel the world. Unfortunately he always planned to do it later and now he’s been diagnosed with a terminal illness which means he has a lot less later than he planned for. For some people this might be crushing and depressing but for Sean the knowledge that he’ll soon be dead has given him a new motivation to do all the things he planned to do but never got around to. Starting with traveling. Now he travels the world trying to experience all that life has to offer and helping those along the way who are taking their time on this earth for granted. Can Sean do all the things he ever wanted in the short time he has left? Will his new found perspective be something he can pass on to the other people he meets? And is it right to look for love when it’s likely you’ll be leaving them soon anyway?

Suggested catchphrase: “Life’s short but flying economy makes it seem longer”

12:12am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVB3Ux80cJp1
(Notes: 33)
  
Filed under: terminal illness travel passenger 
August 4, 2011
Roll with the Punches

“Punch and Judy take their talent for violence to the streets of South Central LA” 

Punch might be a puppet but he’s the hardest nut in all of England. When he’s not wrestling with crocodiles, beating up policemen, or killing executioners he’s defeating the devil with nothing more than a 3inch long stick and a silly voice. In fact the only person who is tougher than Punch is his wife Judy who beats him mercilessly between their bouts of frenetic and spite-filled lovemaking. But now, after the mysterious disappearance of their baby, the Punches have been forced to flee England and hide out in one of the western world’s most dangerous neighbourhoods, South Central LA. Can the Punch family compete with the Bloods and the Crips to gain respect in LA’s criminal underworld? How will the gangs react to a puppet in a jester costume mouthing off to them? And what about poor Judy’s worsening carpal tunnel syndrome? 

Suggested catchphrase: “Where is it boys and girls?” (Punch’s menacing question to his victims just before revealing his bat for a beat down)

7:32pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVB3Ux7ugCJg
(Notes: 9)
  
Filed under: Punch and Judy puppets gangs bloods crips drama 
August 2, 2011
Lost the Plot

“An elderly writer starts to confuse his real life with the stories he’s written”

As one of Hollywood’s longest working and most successful writers Horry Tomms’s amazing imagination has created some of television’s most beloved characters, its most cherished scenes and its most enduring moments. Now in his late 70’s and running a major production house, Horry’s imagination is still as active as ever but his grip on his reality is slowly slipping. For those around him this seems to be a sad state of affairs but for Horry it means he’s able to slip between the problems of the real world and the fun of a fantasy world he has spent the past 50 years creating. Will Horry be able to maintain his real life as he slips further and further into his fantasy world? Will his company survive if the public finds out he’s not all there? And is it such a bad thing to detach from reality when the alternative is so alluring?

Suggested catchphrase: “It’s you again… I’m so glad”

11:59pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVB3Ux7pkxZK
(Notes: 7)
  
Filed under: delusion writer alzeimers stuff hollywood 
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